College heart aches

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Morning glooms emerged stormy and waning pale No light no sun but a wannish glare In layers upon layers the gray clouds summons converged And the budded peaks of the wood are dump cold congealed Caught and cuffed by the cools gale I had fancied it would be a spring day fair As I flung myself down a craggy slope Of bushes and outcrops Ever muttered and madden and ever waned with despair To attend a class of no slight interest or share Whom but her should I meet I the morning glooms when sunrise like sunset sank In the blossomed gable-ends At the head of the college street Whom but her should I meet And she touched me with a smile so sweet That dwelt merely at the corner of her eyes During which she kept her lovely lips tight She made me divine amends For a courtesy not returned And as she passed me so suddenly and so swiftly She left me with a delicate spark Of glowing gnawing growing light Through the long elongated lectures of the day And the long live hours of the dark Which kept itself warm in the core of my dreams Ready to burst in a colored flame Till at last the next morning came In a cloud, it faded and seemed But an ashen – grey delight As gloom as that morning was What if with her sunny hair And smile as sunny as cold She meant to weave me a snare Of some coquettish deceit Delilah like trick old To beguile me and entangled me when we met As a spider has its prey in a silken net And fawn at the victor’s feet To assume me just one of many at her treat One of unanimous many who just written One frivolous line in her book Yet, if she were not a mirage or a cheat If she were all that she seemed And her divine face and beguiling smile were all that I dreamed Then the world were not turn so bitter And her smile like thousands suns would put it sweeter Ah, a coal black raven ever croaks at a pine tree top Keep a watch and ward on surge of overwhelming feelings at the back yard Of one’s heart or you will prove their tool Myself from myself I must guard Beware the ways of man often his own angry vain pride trap Is cap and bells for a fool Yet sick, sick I am of jealous dread That day and night plagued my head I was walking less than a mile More than a mile from my dormant door Between the faint Carmel cloud and the moor And treading the craggy landscape at the set long lectured day Over the dark slanting moor land Rapidly walking far a way She acknowledged me with half hand And there was another at her side The new made suitor A vainly appearing looker Something flashed in the sun And down the hill I saw them dodging In a moment they were gone Like a sudden swift spark Struck vainly in the night Then returned the dark With no more hope of light Left in dark silence alone The curtains on the painful scenery drawn Stand dam to the torrents of torture The is being with them blotter O let the solid ground Not fail beneath my feet Let my fragile form hold The ripples of pain on my body enfold Yet, silence around, what a beautiful voice Be still and trouble my mind With joy in which I cannot rejoice On a glory I shall never find Still I will hear her no more For her sweetness hardly leaves me a choice But to wander in vast fields and fall before Her feet’s own trucks on the meadow’s grass And adore not her, who is neither courtly nor kind But her galloping phantom upon lea and lawn Once, only once I approached her Oh catch not my breath clamorous heart I begged and plead in pitiful obsequiousness Let not my tongue your own servant Be a thrall to my eye For I must tell her before she part I must tell her or die With the strange unfamiliar voice that struggled Up my throat I asked her and she let me I had lead her a part way, my love, my only friend So swiftly the convey took over my mind There was none like her, none And never yet so warmly ran my blood And sweetly on and on Calming itself to the long wishes for end Full to the banks close on the wishful For in calm times in peaceful memories The road still led to her The chained heart always rebel back to her None like her, none We spoke as two long time acquaintances As she paced her light legs along the gravel walk And it shook my heart to think what luck pebbles Just awakened as we reached her dormant door The gates of heaven were closed And she was gone.